Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. This week, my world is being lived at a very specific, high-intensity frequency. If you’ve been following along, you’ll know that the Saundersfoot Footlights are performing Made in Dagenham this week.

Last night’s performance was one of those rare, transcendent moments in theatre. The cast felt it, the audience felt it… the atmosphere was electric. One of the reasons I love being a theatre creative is that we get to share stories that can make a change. Even if it’s just a small pause for thought, it can inspire someone to challenge their traditions and ways of thinking.

This week, it is an absolute gift to share the story of the 1968 Ford Dagenham strike, where a group of women stood up, supported one another, and fought for equal pay against a world that was screaming at them to sit down and stop. And they persisted, through marital unrest, being working parents, and against the weight of the patriarchy, but they stood up nonetheless.

As soon as I was asked to be the Musical Director for this show, it woke up a deep, resonant chord within me. It inspired me to reflect on my own career, on moments of injustice and inequality that I have suffered, and, more importantly, that others I know have suffered. Sadly, what the ladies of Dagenham faced in the sixties, many women are still facing today. Our voices are not always heard; they are often marginalised and ignored.

I have nothing but the greatest respect and admiration for those people who stand up against the odds to speak their truth. But facing inequality, whether you are fighting for systemic change, battling for fairness in your industry, or standing up for yourself in your daily life, takes a toll on your wellbeing.

How do we fight for a cause without letting the battle break us?

1. The Cost of “Emotional Labor”

When you are fighting against inequality or standing up for what is right, you aren’t just spending time; you are spending emotional capital. Your nervous system is constantly navigating conflict, rejection, and the systemic “noise” that tells you your voice doesn’t matter.

• The Music Therapy Link: The Fortissimo Fatigue. In music, fortissimo means playing very loudly. You can blast a powerful, loud chord for a short moment to make a point, but if an orchestra plays fortissimo for an entire movement, the musicians become exhausted, the instruments strain, and the music loses its impact.
• The Practice: Recognize that advocacy requires intentional pianissimo (quiet) periods. You cannot stay in the battle 24/7. Your wellbeing requires dedicated “down-tempos” where the fight is parked at the door.

2. The Power of “Shared Resonance” (Your Dagenham Tribe)

The true magic of Made in Dagenham isn’t just that the women fought; it’s that they fought together. When one woman’s voice wavered, the others picked up the harmony. My second-favourite cue line in the show is: “You are not alone!” (If you read this far and want to know my actual favourite, you’ll have to drop me a line haha)

• The Support: When facing inequality, isolation is the enemy. You cannot carry the weight of a cause as a solo act. You need an Authentic Tribe—a community of people who meet you with Unconditional Positive Regard, where you can drop your armor and say, “I am tired.”
• The Integration: True collective wellbeing means allowing others to hold the line while you rest. Synchronizing your rhythm with others who share your values doesn’t just make the fight stronger; it keeps you safer.

3. Reclaiming Agency Through the “Vocal Anchor”

When the world tells you to stop, it tries to constrict your throat and diminish your presence. Standing up can cause your adrenaline to spike, leading to rapid, shallow breathing and a racing heart.

• The Exercise: The Anthem Breath. Before you step into a difficult conversation, a meeting, or a moment where you have to advocate for yourself:
  1. Place one hand on your belly and one hand on your chest.
  2. Inhale deeply for a count of 4, feeling your torso expand.
  3. On the exhale, let out a low, grounding, resonant hum for as long as you can.
• Why it works: This physical vibration stimulates your vagus nerve, sending a safety signal to your brain. It reminds your body that even when the external world is unfair, your Internal Haven is solid, portable, and entirely yours to command.

Your Advocate’s Wellbeing Toolkit:

• The Boundary Sunset: Set a time every evening where you stop reading the news, responding to emails, or debating the cause.
• The “Glimmer” of Joy: Intentionally seek out moments of pure, unadulterated joy that have nothing to do with the fight. A shared laugh, a beautiful piece of music, a walk in nature. Joy is an act of resistance.
• The “Dagenham” Principle: Look at the person next to you. How can you support their harmony today, and how can you let them support yours?

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Try to find the space to embrace your own creativity, whatever your heart song is. Take five minutes to journal, paint, sing, or run around. Even a glimmer of this can help you reconnect through the overwhelm that feels out of your control.

Sharing these stories on stage is a beautiful gift, but the real work happens when the curtains come down. To anyone fighting a battle against inequality today: Remember that you cannot pour from an empty cup, and you cannot play on broken strings. Look after your instrument. Your voice is too important to let it burn out.

If you are interested in coming to see this incredible show, head to Saundersfoot Footlights web page for more information.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. Today, I want to talk about a phrase that people use as a compliment, but often feels like a heavy, suffocating weight: “I don’t know how you do it, you’re like Superwoman.”

If you are a parent, a freelancer, a teacher, a performer, or a caregiver, chances are you’ve heard this before. People see you smiling, ploughing through the chaos, managing the household, and powering through unexpected bills or viruses. They see you “always getting it done” and assume that you’ve “got this.”

But what some see as a superhero is often just a person trapped in a cycle of survival. The mask of “Superwoman” can become a wall that isolates us and prevents us from reaching out for help when it’s needed.

So, how do we show people that we don’t have this? How do we admit that even the superhero needs a team, a haven, and a hand to hold? (I am as guilty of this as anyone, so I feel it’s important to say… I don’t have the answers. I’m learning and growing, but still not got it right!)

1. The Trap of the “Polished Performance”

In the performing arts, we know all about the “show face.” No matter how terrifying things are backstage, when the curtain goes up, you smile and deliver. But when you apply that same rule to your daily life, it becomes dangerous.

• The Wellbeing Truth: When we constantly show the world a polished, invincible version of ourselves, we unintentionally teach people the wrong thing. We condition our friends, family, and clients to think, “Oh, she’ll handle it. She always does.”
• The Music Therapy Link: The “Forced Harmony.” Trying to maintain a perfect, pleasant chord on the outside when you are screaming in dissonance on the inside strains your emotional instrument. It leads directly to physical tension; headaches, a tight jaw, and complete exhaustion.

2. Changing the Script: From “I’m Fine” to “I’m Full”

Breaking out of the Superhero cycle requires the bravery to change our daily “script.” We have to stop defaults like “I’m fine, just busy!” and start speaking our truth.

• The Practice: The “Capacity” Reframing. The next time someone asks how you are, or tries to add another task to your plate, try shifting your language:
  • Instead of: “Yeah, sure, I can fit that in!”
  • Try: “I’ve reached my capacity for this week, so I won’t be able to take that on.”
  • Instead of: “I’m fine, thank you!”
  • Try: “Honestly? It’s a bit of a heavy week right now. I’m feeling quite run down.”
• Why it works: It acts like a “sonic pause.” It interrupts people’s assumption that you are a machine and forces them to see your humanity.

3. The Bravery of Asking for Help

Asking for help doesn’t mean you are weak, or, in my case “not good enough”; it means you are strategic.

• The Practice: Specific Requests. People often want to help, but because you look like “Superwoman,” they don’t know where to start. Replace vague statements with clear directives:
  • “I’m really struggling to balance things today. Could you pick up the grocery shop for me?”
  • “I need twenty minutes of quiet to reset. Can you watch the kids while I take a walk?”
• The Reframe: Giving someone the chance to support you is an act of trust. It builds your tribe and strengthens the connections that mental health and freelance survival rely on.

4. Tuning into Your “Inner Haven”

Before you can tell the world you need help, you have to admit it to yourself. You have to give yourself radical permission to put down the cape and just be a human who is trying her best.

• The Tonal Exercise: The Crumple. If you feel the pressure to “power through” rising up, find a quiet space. Let your shoulders drop, un-clench your jaw, place a hand on your chest, and let out a long, heavy, vocalized sigh.
• The Mantra: “I am a human being, not a human doing. I am allowed to rest. I am allowed to need help.”

Your “Cape-Off” Toolkit:

• The Reality Check: When someone calls you Superwoman, gently correct them: “Thank you, but I’m actually running on fumes this week!”
• The 24-Hour Buffer: Never say yes to a new demand immediately. Check your actual “Body Budget” first.
• The Specific Ask: Identify one thing today that you can hand over to someone else.

You do not need to be bulletproof to be valuable. Your worth is not measured by how much pressure you can withstand before you break. This week, drop the cape, step out of the spotlight, and let your community support the beautiful, authentic, wonderfully human person behind the professional.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. If you are a student, a teacher, or a parent living in a house currently filled with highlighters and practice papers, you know exactly what the “Exam Season” frequency feels like.

It is a season of high-stakes “performance,” where the pressure to achieve can create a constant, frantic tempo in our internal lives. In the world of performing arts and music therapy, we understand that no one can play their best if their instrument is out of tune or their strings are stretched to the breaking point and so many people think they need to pause creative endeavours to focus on exams, but this is not always the best way. Embracing your creativity at this time may help to lower your anxiety and increase productivity. It will most certainly help to avoid burn out.

So I wanted to talk about how to maintain your well-being during exams, not by “ignoring” the work, but by managing the “Acoustic Environment” of your mind.

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1. The “Performance Anxiety” Reset

Exams are, essentially, a solo performance. The “Public Critic” in our heads starts to shout: “What if I forget? What if I fail? What if I’m not enough?” This triggers our survival brain, making it harder to access the complex information we’ve actually spent months learning.

• The Music Therapy Link: Grounding the Solo. When a performer is panicking, we bring them back to their senses.
• The Practice: The 5-4-3-2-1 Sensory Check. Stop the revision for 2 minutes.
  • Name 5 things you can see.
  • 4 things you can touch.
  • 3 things you can hear.
  • 2 things you can smell.
  • 1 thing you can taste.
• The Goal: This pulls your brain out of the “future-fearing” loop and back into the safety of the present moment.

2. Managing the “Revision Noise”

We often think that total silence is the only way to study, or we blast high-energy music to stay awake. Both can actually increase cortisol (the stress hormone).

• The Wellbeing Tip: The “Binaural” Buffer. Try listening to Lo-Fi beats or Alpha Wave music. These tracks are designed to mimic the brain’s natural “focus” frequency.
• The Practice: The Pomodoro Playlist. Work for 25 minutes with focus music, then have a 5-minute “Sonic Break” where you listen to your favourite high-energy song and move your body.
• Why it works: It prevents the “frazzle” of long-term concentration and gives your brain a chance to consolidate what you’ve just read.

3. The “Night Before” Lullaby

Sleep is the most important “revision” tool you have. It is during sleep that your brain moves information from short-term memory to long-term storage. If you don’t sleep, you are essentially erasing your work.

• The Practice: The Digital Sunset. As we discussed in our Digital Detox blog, leave the phone downstairs. The “anticipatory anxiety” of a late-night text can ruin your REM cycle.
• The Tonal Reset: Before bed, try a Low Hum. Place your hand on your chest and hum a long, steady note. Feel the vibration. It tells your nervous system: “The work is over for today. It is safe to rest.”

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Your Exam Season Toolkit:

• The Morning Anchor: One deep, “Authentic Breath” before you open the first book.
• The “Glimmer” Break: 5 minutes outside. Look at the sky, not the screen.
• The Power Track: Have one song that makes you feel “Solid” and “Capable.” Play it right before you walk into the exam hall to set your internal tempo.

The Exam Season Study Buffer: Playlist Support.

I’ve put together a playlist of music that may help during this stressful season. If you are a student, try listening to some of these at the suggested times, if you are a parent or supporter, you could have some of this music playing in the car or at home to help support your loved one through this time.

1. The “Focus Flow” (For Revision)

The Goal: To mask background noise and encourage “Alpha Brain Waves” (the state of relaxed alertness).

• What to look for: Instrumental tracks with a steady tempo of 60–80 beats per minute (BPM). Avoid lyrics, as your brain will try to process the words instead of your notes!
• Genre Suggestions:
  • Baroque Classics: Vivaldi or Bach (the steady mathematical rhythms are perfect for logic and memory).
  • Ambient Video Game Soundtracks: (Think Skyrim or Minecraft) These are literally composed to keep you engaged without being distracting.

2. The “Anxiety Anchor” (For When Panic Rises)

The Goal: To physically lower your heart rate and trigger the “Rest and Digest” response.

• The Science: Look for music with long, sustained notes and no sudden changes in volume. This prevents the “startle” reflex.
• Suggested Songs/Artists:
  • “Weightless” by Marconi Union: Specially designed with therapists to reduce anxiety by up to 65%.
  • “Spiegel im Spiegel” by Arvo Pärt: A repetitive, bell-like piano and violin piece that feels like a steady heartbeat.
  • “Gymnopédie No. 1” by Erik Satie: A timeless classic for finding a moment of stillness.
  • Nature Sounds: Specifically “Green Noise” (wind through leaves) or heavy rainfall.

3. The “Power Performance” (The 5 Minutes Before the Exam)

The Goal: To move from “Anxious” to “Empowered.”

• What to look for: A song with a strong, driving beat and lyrics that remind you of your Authentic Self and your capability.
• The Practice: Listen to this on your way to the hall. Don’t look at your notes; just focus on the rhythm. This is your “Armor.”

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The “Emergency Anxiety” Reset: The 2-Minute Hum

If you feel a panic spiral starting during a study session or even while sitting at your desk in the hall:

1. Place your hand on your collarbone.
2. Take a 4-count breath in.
3. Hum a low, steady note on the exhale.
4. Focus entirely on the vibration under your hand. This vibration sends a direct signal to your Vagus Nerve that you are safe. It overrides the “Alarm” and lets you get back to the music of your mind.

To every student and parent in the thick of it: You are more than a grade on a piece of paper. Every exam you do is just a moment in time, it doesn’t truly define you as a person and it is not your whole song.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. Today is World Maternal Mental Health Day, and it feels like the perfect moment to talk about something fundamental to our survival as parents: Connection.

In the early days of motherhood, or even years into the journey, there is a specific kind of loneliness that can set in. You can be in a room full of people, holding a baby or chasing a toddler, and yet feel entirely “bordered off” from the world. We weren’t meant to do this in isolation. We were meant to have a village, a tribe, to support us when our own voices waver. Historically, this often involved singing as a group to get through chores together and to soothe and entertain little ones, something we have lost in modern society but was an essential tool that we could look to reengaging with.

Today, let’s talk about the importance of finding your community and how music therapy can be the bridge that leads you to your people.

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1. Breaking the “Solo” Cycle

Motherhood often feels like a long, repetitive solo. We move through the “Acoustic Overload” of crying, household hums, and internal “shoulds” entirely on our own. Maternal mental health struggles, anxiety, depression, or that heavy sense of “Hiraeth” for our old selves, thrive in the silence of isolation.

• The Music Therapy Reframe: In music, a single note is beautiful, but it is resonance (the way notes vibrate together) that creates depth and strength.
• The Practice: Acknowledge that you weren’t built to carry the melody alone. Seeking a “tribe” isn’t a sign that you are failing; it’s a sign that you are ready to find your full sound. If you can, reach out to local mum pages or groups. You may not be alone in how you feel, and reaching out could give someone else a little courage, too!

2. Music as the Universal Language of “And Me”

(Incidentally, “and me” were some of the first words I said, not an uncommon phrase for younger siblings…. even then I was keen to be part of the tribe.)

Sometimes, the hardest part of finding your community is the “small talk.” When you’re exhausted, the thought of explaining yourself to strangers feels like a mountain. This is where a Music Therapy Group or a creative community changes the game.

• The Shared Pulse: In a music therapy group, we don’t start with “How are you?” We start with a song. When a group of mums finds a sound, the “public masks” drop. You don’t have to explain your feelings in that moment; it’s right there in the way you sing, and a registered music therapist can see, hold, and support you in this.
• Synchrony: When we sing, hum, or play together, our heart rates and breathing actually begin to align. This physical Synchrony tells your nervous system: “You are safe. You are among friends. You are part of the whole.” This is the quickest way to melt the ice of isolation.

3. Finding Your “Authentic Tribe”

Your “tribe” aren’t the people who demand a polished performance from you; they are the people who hold a Safe Haven for your “messy tries.”

• The Support: A music-led community offers a space safe from judgment. It’s a place where you can be “Authentically You”, the tired version, the creative version, the “not-sure-if-I’m-doing-this-right” version, and still be met with Unconditional Positive Regard. A therapist’s driving force is to meet you right where you are.
• The Reconnection: By finding a community that values creativity over perfection, you begin to reclaim the identity that motherhood sometimes swallows. You find that you aren’t just “Mum”; you are a vital thread in a vibrant, supportive weave.

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Your “Tribe” Toolkit for Maternal Mental Health:

• Seek the Pulse: Look for local mums’ groups that focus on creativity, music, or movement. Shared activity lowers the barrier to connection.
• The “Micro-Connection”: If you can’t get to a group today, try using a tool like our Haven Songs playlist. You can click on a song shared by another mum; it may help to feel a connection in those darker hours.
• The Collective Hum: If you’re with other parents, try a “30-second hum” together before the chaos starts. It’s a tiny act of synchrony that reminds you you’re in this together.

To every mum reading this: You don’t have to be the conductor, the orchestra, and the audience all at once. Reach out, find your beat, and let your tribe help you carry the song.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. Today, I want to get real about a type of “noise” that is currently playing very loudly in many of our lives, and most definitely in mine: Financial Stress.

Between the creeping cost of petrol and the grocery shop, and those “life happens” bills (in my house recently, it’s been a flurry of unexpected vet trips and the unavoidable expense of new glasses for our youngest and me), it can feel like we are constantly bracing for the next hit. When you are self-employed or managing a household, that financial “bass note” can become a constant, low-frequency thrum of anxiety that makes it nearly impossible to hear anything else.

So, how do we actively monitor and maintain our wellbeing when the “Body Budget” is being drained by the actual budget? How do we find the space to breathe when the numbers aren’t adding up?

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1. Acknowledging the “Alarm”

Financial stress isn’t “all in your head.” It is a physiological trigger. When we worry about money, our bodies enter a state of survival arousal. Our heart rate climbs, our breathing shallows, and our “creative brain” shuts down to make room for “survival brain.”

• The Wellbeing Truth: You cannot “positive-think” your way out of a bill, but you can prevent the stress of that bill from breaking your instrument.
• The Practice: Acknowledge the feeling. Say it out loud: “I am feeling a spike of financial anxiety right now.” By naming it, you move the stress from an overwhelming “cloud” to a specific data point you can manage.

2. Hunting for “Glimmers”

In trauma-informed care, we talk about Glimmers (the opposite of triggers). A glimmer is a micro-moment of safety, beauty, or connection that tells your nervous system, “In this exact second, I am okay.”

• The Music Therapy Link: When the “Financial Static” is loud, we have to actively tune our ears to a different frequency.
• The Practice: Seek out one “zero-cost” glimmer a day. The way the light hits the trees on your drive (even if the petrol is expensive), the perfect rhythm of a bird’s song, or the warmth of a shared laugh over a cup of tea. These aren’t “distractions”; they are vital nervous system resets.

3. Using the “Breath of Agency”

When bills pile up, we feel a loss of control. We feel like life is “happening” to us. Mindful breathing is the quickest way to reclaim your Agency.

• The Exercise: The 4-7-8 Reset.
  • Inhale for 4 (Taking in what you need).
  • Hold for 7 (Creating a space of stillness).
  • Exhale for 8 (Releasing the “static”).
• The Clinical Twist: Try repeating this with a low hum on the exhale. Place your hand on your chest and feel the vibrations of the humming in your body. Allow the physical sensation to focus the brain into that centred place. You can do this anywhere, extend it into a longer hum, a song, or some “sirens”….whatever feels good. Focus on the sensation of the vibration moving through your body and into your hands.
• Why it works: The long exhale stimulates the Vagus Nerve, physically forcing your body out of “Survival Mode” and back into “Rest and Digest.” It won’t pay the vet bill, but it will give you the mental clarity to handle the phone call.

4. The “No-Cost” Soundtrack

Music is one of the few transformative tools we have that doesn’t have to cost a penny.

• The Practice: The “Abundance” Playlist. Create a playlist of songs that make you feel “rich” in spirit—songs that remind you of your history, your strength, and your Authentic Self.
• The Hum of Safety: When the panic rises, try humming a low, steady note. That vibration is a physical reminder that your “Haven” is internal and portable, no matter what the bank balance says.

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Your Financial Stress Toolkit:

• Active Acknowledgement: Don’t suppress the fear; name it and then breathe through it.
• Glimmer Hunting: Find three tiny things today that are beautiful and free.
• The Vagal Exhale: Use the 8-count hummed exhale to clear the “static.”

Try using the Glimmer Checklist below to help you to acknowledge and embrace these micro moments.

MOST IMPORTANTLY:

Try to find the space to embrace your own creativity, whatever your heart song is. Five minutes to journal, paint, sing, or just run around, even a glimmer of this can help to reconnect you through the overwhelm that feels out of your control.

Wellbeing isn’t about having a perfect life; it’s about having a resilient one. Even when the chords are clashing and the rhythm is difficult, you are still the conductor of your own breath.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. Today, I want to ask a question that might seem a bit counterintuitive for a blog like this: What is the actual point of “Wellbeing”?

We are bombarded with the word. It’s on social media, it’s in our work emails, and it’s usually accompanied by images of someone sitting in a field or drinking expensive tea. If we aren’t careful, “wellbeing” starts to feel like just another chore; another thing to fail at if we don’t have the time or the money to do it “properly.”

But as a music therapist, a mum, and someone who has navigated the highs and lows of the performing arts, I’ve come to realise that wellbeing isn’t a destination or a luxury. So, what is the point? Are we just bandying about a word, or is it possible to achieve some state of Wellbeing, without plunging into despair if we haven’t managed to make it into a field with tea?

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1. It’s Not About “Happiness,” It’s About “Resonance”

If the point of wellbeing was to be happy all the time, we’d all be failing. Life is messy. It involves grief, viruses (she says, still 4 weeks into this one), financial stress, and disappointment.

• The Music Therapy Reframe: In music, we don’t just want one note played over and over. We want a full range of frequencies. To me, Wellbeing is embracing and riding the “frequeincies” of your life. It’s about building a foundation so that when the dissonant, “loud” moments of life happen, your instrument doesn’t break.
• The Point: We don’t practice wellbeing to feel “good”; we practice it so we can feel everything without being overwhelmed by it.

2. Protecting Your “Instrument”

Think of your favorite instrument. If it’s never tuned, if the strings are never changed, or if it’s left out in the rain, it will eventually lose its voice.

• The Reality: For many of us, especially freelancers, teachers, and caregivers, we are the instrument. Our energy, our empathy, and our creativity are the tools we use to do our jobs and love our families.
• The Point: Wellbeing is Maintenance. It’s the oil on the gears and the tuning of the strings. If you don’t look after the instrument, the music stops.

3. Reclaiming Your “Agency”

The world is very good at telling us how to feel, how to act, and what to buy. We spend so much of our time in “reactive” mode, responding to emails, notifications, and other people’s needs.

• The Integration: Wellbeing is an act of Rebellion. It’s the moment you stop and say, “For these ten minutes, my needs come first.” Whether it’s a digital detox, a “sonic pause,” or a walk in nature, you are taking back the baton.
• The Point: Wellbeing is the process of moving from being a “background extra” in your life to being the Conductor.

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So, what’s the point?

The point of wellbeing isn’t to create a perfect, stress-free life. The point is to create a life that you are actually present for. It’s about:

• Capacity: Having enough in the tank to handle the “Mars” moments of parenting or the “public critic” of the arts.
• Connection: Being grounded enough to hear the “shared pulse” with the people you love.
• Peace: Being able to sit with your Hiraeth and still feel at home in your Haven.

Wellbeing is the work we do to make sure our “Authentic Self” is the one showing up to the party, not just a frazzled version of who we think we should be.

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. For nearly a year now, I have built myself a solid boundary. My phone, iPad, and all digital equipment stayed downstairs at night. My bedroom became a “no-ping zone,” a true haven for rest.

But over the past few weeks, while I’ve been run down with a virus, they crept back up the stairs. “Just for tonight,” I told myself, “Just as a treat so I can snuggle up and watch TV.”

The result? My sleep is a mess! After just a few nights, I found it harder and harder to drift off. My morning started with a “scroll” instead of a “soul-check.” I realized that even when the screen is dark, the mental static of a phone in the room disrupts the harmony of a good night’s sleep. I was brought back, time and again, to that compulsive checking: Has that person replied? What’s on that social media page? Has anyone liked my posts? The never-ending doom scroll.

It’s time to return to the Digital Detox at the most critical time of day: the hours when we are supposed to be “tuning out.”

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1. The Science of the “Bedroom Buzz”

It’s not just the blue light (though that is a major physiological “no-no” for our melatonin). It’s anticipatory anxiety. When your phone is within arm’s reach, your brain stays in a state of “low-level vigilance.” You are subconsciously waiting for a notification, a news update, or a “like.”

• The Music Therapy Link: The Unresolved Chord. A phone in the bedroom is like a musical phrase that never hits the final, home note. Your brain stays “suspended,” unable to fully drop into the deep, restorative frequencies of REM sleep.
• The Practice: The 8-to-8 Rule. Try leaving your phone downstairs from 8:00 PM to 8:00 AM. Give your brain a 12-hour “Acoustic Sanctuary” every single day.

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2. The Teen Challenge: “F.O.M.O.” vs. Freedom

This is a conversation I have with many caregivers, and one I am already anticipating for my own home. The connection teenagers have with social media is huge, but so is the impact.

I’ve been thinking a lot about a brilliant analogy from The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt. He compares the invention of the smartphone-led childhood to jettisoning our kids to Mars; unaccompanied, unexplored, and unprepared. We often blame parents for their teenagers’ online behaviour, but we forget that those parents were the first ones sent to Mars! The teenagers are simply following footsteps that were unguided.

I don’t have all the answers; sadly, I don’t know if anyone does. But I am attempting to set boundaries well in advance by modelling the night-time detox. By keeping the charging station in the kitchen, I hope to support my kids toward a healthier relationship with social media and, crucially, with real-life connections. I am painfully aware that as an “older mum,” I was blessed to have a playful childhood shaped by the woods and the street, not the internet. I may eat my words in a few years, but without trying, I’ll never know.

How do we encourage the shift without the war?

• The “Lead by Example” Solo: You cannot ask them to do what you aren’t doing. Let them see you parking your phone.
• The “Old School” Alternative: Buy a beautiful, dedicated alarm clock. Remove the “I need it for the alarm” excuse.
• The “Music Therapy” Bridge: If they need sleep sounds, invest in a non-connected MP3 player or a white noise machine. For kids who grew up with Tonieboxes, this is just the “grown-up” version of that safe audio space.

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3. Creating a “Charging Station”

Instead of just “taking the phone away,” create a dedicated, aesthetic space downstairs where phones go to “sleep.”

In our house, we have a beautiful wooden box, a meaningful gift from a family member, that has pride of place in the kitchen. When the phone or iPad goes in that tray, the “Public Version” of me is officially off-duty. We can all return to our Authentic Selves. This can be used at night, during family meals, or special events.

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Your Digital Detox Toolkit:

• The “Non-Smart” Alarm: I invested in a physical clock last year, and it changed my sleep. The events of the past few weeks have proved just how vital it is.
• The Morning Buffer: No phone until you’ve had your first “Authentic Breath” or a cup of tea.
• The Charging Station: A dedicated spot outside the bedroom.

Drawing a line at the bedroom door is a brave act of Agency. It’s you saying: “This space is mine. This silence is mine. My sleep is sacred.”

I put my digital items back downstairs these last few nights, picked up a novel instead… and sleep has returned. Let me know how this could work for you?

Welcome back to Wellbeing Wednesday. Today, I want to talk about a word that gets thrown around a lot in self-help circles but is incredibly difficult to live out in practice: Authenticity. All these thoughts were inspired by recently personal experiences and reading Brene Brown’s book, “The Gift of Imperfection”….. closely backed up by the first thing I then read in Gregory Maguire’s “Elphie”….. the universe is talking to me haha.

In a world dominated by the “Instagram vs. Reality” divide, we are repeatedly pushed toward inauthenticity. We are coached to seek perfection, to chase quick dopamine hits through likes and follows, and to present a curated “best self” that often bears little resemblance to our actual lives.

As a mum, a teacher, a performer, and a music therapist, I feel these pressures from every angle. How do we remain authentic when the world seems to demand a polished performance at every turn?

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The Performance of Perfection

This is especially true in the world of the performing arts. It is an industry built on visibility, where everyone has a judgment and an opinion, often aired with total confidence by those who have never stepped into a performing space. When you know you are being watched and critiqued, the temptation is to “play it safe,” to mask your true self, and to give the audience exactly what you think they want to see, chasing a desire to be “liked”, approved….. the list goes on.

But here is the truth: Inauthenticity is exhausting. It’s a dissonant chord that vibrates through everything we do.

My “Why”: The Heart of the Work

For me, I’ve come to understand that my authenticity isn’t about being “perfect”; it’s about a deep level of care. I do these jobs, the teaching, the therapy work, the creativity, because I care deeply and passionately about their impact on the world around us, on the wellbeing they can provide our communities, our young people, ourselves.

My authenticity lies in supporting people to find their own voices and creativity in a safe space.

• A space safe from judgment.
• A space safe from the biting sting of “public opinion.”
• A space where experimentation is the goal, not the byproduct.

The Bravery of the “Authentic Failure”

In my work, I strive to hold a space where authentic choices and failures are encouraged. Why? Because without those messy “tries,” those “wrong” notes, and those moments of vulnerability, we can never truly succeed.

Authenticity requires the bravery to be “disappointing” to the critics so that you can be true to yourself. In music therapy, we call this Creative Agency. It’s the moment you stop playing the notes someone else wrote for you and start sounding your own truth.

The Bravery of the “Inner Solo”

Authenticity is often talked about as if it’s a destination we simply arrive at, but the truth is that it takes immense bravery to become authentic. It requires the courage to go against the flow of “what is expected” and the grit to speak your truth in a world that often prefers a script.

When you choose to be authentic (in all your elements) you are making a radical leap of faith. You are trusting that when you sound your true note, those hearing it will have the grace to hold it. It is terrifying to stand in your truth and wonder if the world will meet you there, but it is the only way to find a connection that is real. In music, a harmony only works if both notes are distinct and true; if one is faked, the resonance is lost. Being brave enough to be “you” is the only way to find your true ensemble.

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How to Remain “Authentically You” This Week:

1. Identify Your “Care” Center: When you feel the pressure to perform or please, ask yourself: “Why am I doing this?” If the answer is rooted in care and passion, you are on the right track.
2. Embrace the Dissonance: You don’t have to be in harmony with everyone’s opinion. Authenticity often sounds like a “clash” to those who prefer a curated life. Let it clash.
3. Create Your Own Safe Space: Whether it’s in your home as a mum or in your studio as a teacher, explicitly give yourself and others permission to fail.
4. 4. The “Internal Hum” of Truth: Before you step into a meeting, a classroom, or onto a stage, take a second to hum a low, steady note. Feel your own vibration. Remind yourself: “This is my voice. It is enough.”

The Journey to Being Me

Our lives are a consolidation not an add on or a change. My authenticity is the sum of all my parts: the mum who is tired but present, the therapist who listens with empathy, the performer who risks judgment, and the teacher who cheers for every “mistake.”

It is all part of my journey to being me. And in a world of filters and reality TV, being authentically you is the most rebellious, beautiful thing you can be.

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